Unsticking My Story

On a Friday morning in January, I was not in my regular routine. I hadn’t been feeling well physically for almost a month (it was NOT covid), with what felt like a cold gone wild. No matter how much sleep I managed to get, I was exhausted, couldn’t stop blowing my nose and just felt all-over not good.

Snow was predicted for that afternoon, so I traveled to a friend’s house on Thursday afternoon to beat the weather. Spending the evening watching movies in a warm house was lovely.

After a good night’s sleep, I checked my email and saw a reminder for a workshop I had registered for presented by Cathy Davis and Derlene Hirtz: Release the Struggle/Rewrite Your Story.

The description read: LETTING GO of what no longer works for you can be the catalyst to finding what you DO want. As we release our old stories, we make room in our lives to reclaim our power.

Life “happens,” either to us or for us.

We react or respond at any given moment; we get to decide.

At some point, we tire of blaming others for where we are in life

and choose to take charge and create the life we want.

Rewrite that old story by shifting your perspective.

I had forgotten and yet, had I been at home I would have been in a weight-lifting class. Because I wasn’t home, completely out of my routine, I thought, “Well, this sounds like a good idea.” I had NO idea what to expect.

In addition, though the title was Release the Struggle/Rewrite Your Story, I wasn’t really paying attention. Did I think there was a story to rewrite? Struggles to release?

Not really.

I just thought I could learn something.

When I don’t feel good, it feels as if the world is crashing down on me. The things I’m worried about get bigger, and I feel like I’ll never be okay again, never have any energy, and never feel like me.

Combined with a low-level frustration about what I wanted to do for work, what I was doing and the dreams I had to create work that was meaningful as well as designing a life I loved, I was having a challenging few weeks.

This feeling I had, though, while not exactly new, kept chasing me. I would talk it through, feel like I had strategies to combat the feelings and for long periods of time, I felt okay. I had come up with a financial plan (NEVER budget) that I felt good about. I made thoughtful, considered decisions. I wasn’t grandma-frugal, but I wasn’t a spendthrift, either.

In the hands of a very capable finance company, we worked together as a team. I respected their insight and expertise, and they respected my decisions based on my life. In addition, they always had spot-on suggestions.

Always open to learning, growing, evolving and adapting, I love to attend webinars and put into practice skills acquired.

In 2023 I was a member of an on-line networking community that met every Thursday. The host/leader spun a prize wheel. Members contributed to the prize wheel by offering their services complimentary. I had never won. At the August meeting, I won The Power of Partnership (with Energy) a 3-week online course (valued at $497).

The description read:

This course is designed to switch on and amplify your innate ability to attract the prosperity you desire. You receive money through other people when you serve them, and when you serve them at your highest level, you receive more money than you previously thought possible…with more ease, too! Includes the 4 Time Hack BONUS and worksheet so you do more (and make more) in less time. Unrivaled realizations.

Hmmmm, I thought. This is a great idea. I had a Money Story, this, finally would set me free.

It took me a few months to clear the time to listen to 4 webinars and complete the work required before I met with the facilitator. When we could finally book a call in January, I was very excited to learn what she had to offer and find out how she could help me.

Because, you see, I knew, or had a feeling it was my Money Story that was weighing me down. It was slowing my journey and making me unhappy.

Expecting a zoom, she called me at the designated time and started asking me questions. I asked her if she had read the Money Story, I had sent her. I emailed her months before and said, if we are going to work together, you will need to know this.

“No,” she answered. “I think its important you read it,” I answered. She skimmed through it throwing out a few words I knew to be true: abandoned, infidelity, inter-generational programming (grandmother (hoarding), mother, father), fear of making poor decisions, lack mindset. Finding easy money. And…the more we have, the more we are scared it will be taken away.

She asked what money meant to me.

“Freedom,” I answered without hesitation.

She continued to ask me questions, suggesting “release” work, which involves belief, emotions, memories. She said that money was a “core” block. Reality is 90% energy and 10% action. And that she could help me.

There was much more. And with every question, every suggestion, I felt worse and worse.

Luckily, I have a friend who is a life coach and for years we have discussed energy, vibrations, and the light we put into the world. After many conversations and time spent together, she has noticed a change in me. As my energy changed, I’ve become more centered. Confident. Assured. Comfortable in my own skin. And of course, this works the other way as well. The strong, independent woman that was always me found her way to the surface. And I was feeling fine. Lighter. Happier. More at ease.

I don’t know if it was the on-going cold I had, what this person said to me, how she was conducting the call or everything combined, but I wanted off the phone. I wanted away from this person.

Immediately after hanging up, I called my life coach friend who confirmed that we had done release work in the past and that yes, release work could help in this situation, too.

Within 24 hours, I was asked to follow-up with a plan. Did I want to follow through on A or B. My answer was: no, thank you. I wanted to do nothing at this point. I received the following message:

“When your next health (or other) issue arises, and your urgency is higher to the point of being willing to invest $2,000 to turn it into $3,000, 6,000 or 9,000, you know where to find me!” (yes, I knew where to find you and I didn’t want to)

For me, this entire session seemed like a hard sell. A sales call. I was not interested. I had enough sense of self to realize this wasn’t a healthy avenue for me.

IF I was going to do any release work, it would be with someone I knew, who knew me and understood me. Who cared about me. As a person.

It was with this experience that I zoomed into Friday’s workshop. Release the Struggle/Rewrite Your Story.

Derlene Hirtz is a holistic, transformational coach who uses mindset training along with many other modalities and techniques to help people get un-stuck. Cathy Davis is owner of Davis Creative Publishing with a background in imagining, writing, coaching, speaking and like Derlene a NLP Mindset Mastery Practitioner.

Cathy Davis explained that if we let them, our stories become lessons. Once learned we can throw them away.

And that throughout our stories is a Golden Thread. (I love this imagery.)

After both Derlene and Cathy shared their stories, Derlene explained The Wheel of Renewal. A simple six-step process to help you get UNSTUCK and move your life forward.

Derlene explained that when we:

Recall: What’s the old story? What keeps you from moving forward?

Reflect: What aspects of the story am I holding onto?

Reframe: Define your OWN story. Define WHO we are. We can determine what success means for ourselves.

Rewrite: Look at your story from a new point of view. “This is what I know and embrace…”

Release: Use past experiences and learn from them. Words have different meanings for each of us. We can say to ourselves, “I am responsible for my OWN success. I am free to make my OWN choices.” Release the memories.

Renew: Learn, grow, acknowledge. This is MY story: WHY I do what I do. Recognize how far we’ve come. Make a daily commitment to yourself and live the life of your dreams.

…are able to walk through The Wheel of Renewal we can become UNSTUCK.

“Any volunteers?” they asked.

Without a moment’s hesitation I raised my hand.

I began talking, following The Wheel of Renewal very loosely and suddenly, I said, “Oh my G-d. This isn’t my story! This isn’t my money story!”

What an AHA moment. (Oprah would be proud.)

From the time I was a kid, (and this happens to most of us), I believed what my parents told me. They were very young when they married and very young in the 1970’s when they divorced. They both had a tough time and on both ends of the money continuum. I started babysitting at 12, started my first job at 15. I put myself through college and graduate school.

Then I married someone whose money story was that of lack. There was never enough. Money, energy, time, love, consideration, respect. I listened to this story for years. I lived this story for years. I worked a full-time job, and three part-time jobs for years, even when I was pregnant. We were educated and saved money all the time. It was a big issue. At some point, raising kids and handling a household, he took over the finances. I trusted him. I should not have.

This.

This was NEVER my money story. Either of them.

I have an abundant mind-set. I always have. “There’s always room for one more,” and “Sure, we will make room for you.” Generosity of spirit is important to me. In fact, generosity is a core value.

As a kid, I didn’t understand everything that was happening and by the time I was a teenager, I knew that I would be responsible for my own education. In a marriage that became unhealthy and full of power struggles, I bought right into the belief that we never had enough. We would never have enough.

When asked what money meant to me, I responded, “Freedom.”

But that wasn’t my thinking either.

And it isn’t my money story either. I didn’t and don’t think money represents freedom. He did. And yet, we didn’t live very free lives.

The Golden Thread: I gave my power away.

As a kid, until I could become independent, I might not have had much choice.

As a grown-up, I willingly gave away my power for the illusion of a white-picket fence of happiness. (This isn’t to say there weren’t happy years. There were. And two kids who weren’t an illusion.) However, I gave my power away to someone with a completely different money story than my own.

I stopped and asked Derlene if I had skipped through too fast.

“Keep going,” both she and Cathy said. Then they asked me how I would REWRITE this story.

“I empower people to find and use their voice through storytelling. Wow. I was empowering people as I was empowering myself. I want to keep doing this. Through written words, audio, video. Any way for people to tell their stories.”

How to RELEASE?

Sending that paper airplane off the tallest mountain, I don’t NEED either of these stories anymore!

In addition, once I realized that these stories were NOT my money stories, they were easy to release.

And a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt completely different.

Lighter.

Instead of asking the Universe, “Why?” Derlene suggests asking “HOW am I stuck?” I’m pretty sure I’ve been asking this for a while.

In order to RENEW they asked what my commitment to myself would look like.

Every day when I wake up, I will be grateful that I created this life, a life I designed. And I’m going to LIVE it. I have survived and I am thriving. In fact, I’m beyond surviving.

I am taking my power back.

Every single day. In every way.

I was supposed to be in a weight-lifting class. I wasn’t even supposed to BE in Release the Struggle/Rewrite Your Story workshop. I had forgotten I signed up.

And yet, the Universe, once more knew what was right for me. When we ask the Universe, “HOW am I stuck?” and “For what purpose?” then keep our eyes OPEN- the answers start coming. We just have to be ready for them.

What I found even more interesting was that all the low-lying frustration and angst started going away. Kind of like using a magic wand. Gaining clarity. And doing the work to get UNSTUCK.

I began feeling physically better as well (antibiotics do that). My usual sunny optimism began to return, and I opened my eyes to purposeful work that I enjoyed and found intriguing.

I released stories that were NOT mine.

And I took my power back. With a magic wand, Golden Thread and the help of The Renewal Wheel. Thank you, Cathy Davis and Derlene Hirtz, for this AHA moment.

Expect Good. Sparkle On. Defy Gravity. Release and Rewrite your story.

To reach Derlene Hirtz: https://youempoweredservices.com/

Derlene is certified in NLP Practitioner, Master Practitioner, Time Line Therapy, Master Time Line Therapy, and Trainer Training through the International Board of Integrated Neuro Linguistic Programming (IBINLP).

To reach Cathy Davis: https://creativepublishingpartners.com/

Cathy is CEO, Davis Creative Publishing, Ghost-Publisher, Book Coach, Designer, Dreamer, Imagineer,
Multiple #1 International Bestselling Author, International Speaker/Trainer, NLP Mindset Mastery Practitioner.

For more personal narratives or to find out how I empower people to find and use their voice: https://wilsonmentoringwriting.com/

 

 

 

 

 

 

About Pam Wilson

I've been writing since I can remember. At heart, I am a story-teller; making sense of my world, finding humor and light through writing. Now I help clients to write their own stories. As I continue my own writing journey, my passion is to help clients write their own stories.

4 Comments

  1. Sandye Muncy on January 17, 2024 at 7:43 pm

    Welcome back, Wonder Woman! You’ve had the power to live YOUR story all along. Be true to YOU and listen to the Universe😘



  2. Tim Gray on January 17, 2024 at 11:06 pm

    Well done Pam!!!



  3. Alexandra Culberson on January 20, 2024 at 3:49 pm

    Another beautiful story written with such grace and strength!! Thank you for being so vulnerable with your audience and daring to get curious / be open to divine intervention and guidance!! Inspiring is an understatement 💛



    • Pam Wilson on February 4, 2024 at 6:13 pm

      Thank you as always for your insight, encouragement and friendship! I’m inspired by so many amazing people! Grace and strength…love that!!! xoxoxo